The Silly
Season
by Jennifer Ferrara
Note:
The following is excerpted from an article that appeared in The Cresset (Easter
2005), a publication of Valparaiso University. We are sharing the author’s work
because we appreciate her honest perspective on feminism and young women in
today’s world.
[In the novels by Jane Austin]
silly girls use poor judgment, have vulgar manners, and are indiscreet and
flirtatious. In Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Bennett is the father of five
girls, two of whom are very silly. He bemoans this fact but does nothing to
reign in their behavior . . . The consequences are devastating. His youngest
daughter, Lydia, runs off with the scoundrel, Wickam, thereby bringing shame and
disgrace to her family.
Silly girls today are like silly
girls in Jane Austin’s time, only worse. Their manners are coarser, their
language cruder, and their advances toward boys far more brazen. Even more
dramatic has been the change in society’s view of such behavior. The
coquettish, naughty behavior of girls goes largely uncorrected. I am simply
astonished to see the way girls dress and act in front of their parents. The
silliness starts off innocently enough. Pre-teen girls wear low rise blue
jeans, midriffs, and halter tops, shirts with straps that look like bra straps,
and short skirts and shorts. They move provocatively . . . and are sassy to
adults. Their parents and others think this behavior is cute, especially if the
girls, themselves, are cute. Later, when these same parents can no longer
control their daughters, they wonder what happened.
As a society, we have ceased to talk
about what is proper behavior for girls. The reason is because we no longer
know how girls should behave and think any sort of admonition to act lady-like
is sexist. Though we encourage girls to act like boys, the result is not boyish
behavior (girls will never act like boys) but the worst kind of girlish
behavior, that is, silliness . . . Feminists have convinced us that women have a
right to behave however they please. They can dress provocatively and say
whatever they want and expect men not to view them as sex objects or to view
them as sex objects, depending upon what they want, which is utter nonsense.
In A Return to Modesty:
Discovering the Lost Virtue, Wendy Shalit shows just how devastating to
women this attitude has been. Convincingly, she argues that women have set
themselves up to become victims of men. “Encouraged to act immodestly, a woman
exposes her vulnerability and she then becomes, in fact, the weaker sex.”
. . . According to Shalit, women
must reclaim their modesty if men are to become gentlemen once again.
The problem is this can be terribly
difficult for girls. Most will not take a stand against their peers and cannot
disassociate themselves from the culture which surrounds them like the air they
breathe . . . They must be taught from early on how to behave in a lady-like
manner.
Jane Austen recognized that the
father plays an especially important part in this process. In Pride and
Prejudice, Mr. Bennett, though likeable, is largely absent from the lives of
his daughters. He does not want to be bothered with disciplining his two young,
silly daughters . . . Eventually, he accepts responsibility for his failures and
for the pain he has caused . . . He resolves to act as a proper guardian of the
silly daughter who is not yet beyond redemption. Mrs. Bennett is a ridiculous
creature, and this makes the father’s involvement more imperative. Yet even if
a girl has a mother worthy of emulation, the father has an essential role to
play. Fathers need to pay close attention to how their daughters dress and
behave and correct them when they act silly.
When I see the immodest dress of so
many girls today, I wonder how their fathers could have let them out of the
house. Many probably are like Mr. Bennett, just as happy not to have to worry
about their daughters’ behavior. Society has now given them an excuse to ignore
the shenanigans taking place in their households. Men, though often involved in
the lives of their children, are no longer encouraged to be the head of the
household, and this has resulted in their reluctance to set and enforce rules.
Of course, fathers are more than
disciplinarians. They are the first men their daughters shall love. From their
fathers, girls learn how men ought to treat them. Fathers are their daughters’
protectors and should act like it. Daughters should have in their fathers their
first loving, caring, and protecting relationship with a man. Women have always
fallen prey to caddish men and always will, which is why they need fathers to
look out for them and teach them to expect gentlemanly behavior of men.
Most girls, even silly ones, would
be relieved to have rules to follow. Rules governing relationships with men
define the playing field, thereby giving women the freedom to be themselves
without constantly worrying about men taking advantage of them. Those, such as
Austin’s Lydia, who are incorrigibly silly and refuse to see the benefit of
rules are all the more in need of them. Christian societies have always
understood this. We live in a secular society, and it is unclear whether our
present descent into madness can be reversed. However, we, as parents, must
still look after our daughters – now more than ever . . . [I]t is especially
imperative that fathers assume their proper role as guardians and protectors of
their daughters. If that happens, we might begin to see a restoration of the
lost virtue of modesty and the elevation of society which comes when women act
like ladies.
