Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: Roots for Parenting and a Future of Hope
by Linda Bartlett
Equal, But Different
Humans were created in relationship with God. God gave humans the responsibility to act out this partnership in a way that reflects the glory of God ( Hebrews 2: 7) . God created two distinct human beings - male and female. They are not like the animals over which they have dominion, but stamped with the divine image of God.
God created male and female to be equal, but not the same. There is powerful evidence of this. If you are married, you know men and women communicate, think, love, receive, and respond differently. If you are a parent of a son and daughter, you recognize they aren' t the same. Now, check out God' s Word. Read Genesis 2: 7; 15- 23. The Creator of male and female did not make them at the same time, in the same way, or for the same purpose.
It was " not good for the man to be alone" ( Genesis 2: 18) . Man was in need of a " helper fit for him." This literally means, " like his opposite." ( Ponder this when you consider not only the differences of male and female, or their unique roles, but also how they fit together in the union of marriage. This answers the question, once and for all: Can there be " gay marriage" ? No.)
Even many Christian women find the term " helper" scandalous. But, God' s Word speaks to the respective headship and submissive roles of male and female.
Headship and Submission
God is the God of order, not chaos. His reason and design is for the good of His creation. In keeping with God' s order, man is given headship. He was created first. He is the first to receive instruction from God ( 2: 16- 17) . The animals are brought to the man for naming ( 2: 19- 20) . The woman is made from the man and for the man ( 2: 18, 22) . The male names the female ( 2: 23) .
Male headship is a result of God' s love for His creation and special concern for women and children. God desires order, peace, and safety for families. Ephesians 5 discusses the headship of the husband and the submissive role of the wife. There is no shame in submission! While on earth, Jesus submitted to the will of His Heavenly Father. Look closely at the Triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. There is one union, one God, yet three distinct persons and roles. Jesus, the Son, honored the " headship" of the Father to His glory and for the good of humanity. It is the husband who is called to love his wife as much as Christ loved the Church ( Ephesians 5: 25) . He is to love her as much as he loves himself by considering her needs above his. Loving headship generates loving submission.
When men glorify God with their headship, women and children are respected. " The dignity and sanctity of marriage that Christianity brought to Roman culture were mostly due to the early Christian women . . . They appreciated the dignity and worth that Christ' s teachings accorded them, and seeing themselves as God' s redeemed children, they, more so than men, understood the seriousness of their biological role as bearers of children in God' s created order." ( Under the Influence: How Christianity Transformed Civilization, " Copyright 2001 by Alvin J. Schmidt, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, MI, p 85.)
Adam's Rib
God made ( literally: " built" ) woman using a rib taken from man. With this, He established their relationship within the order of creation. A rib is structural; it supports. A rib guards the heart and breath of life, yet it is vulnerable. Under attack, it can be easily fractured or broken. Satan despises the order of creation that God uses to protect the man and woman He so loves. So, that day in the garden, satan set his target and, by- passing man, went straight to the woman. Man was " with" Eve when she was attacked, but he did not step between his beloved and the evil one. He did not engage the deceiver. He failed to cover his " rib." Man was held accountable ( 3: 9) because it was to him that God entrusted the word for life and warning away from death.
Sin had entered God' s perfect world. Everything changed. The relationship between man and woman - and between God and His creation – was affected. Life today for men and women is difficult. It is challenging. But, God continues to call men to proper headship.
Today, when satan whispers to the young woman, " Did God really say . . . it' s wrong to have sex outside marriage? " and the boyfriend fails to cover her with respect, he is leaving her physically, emotionally, and spiritually vulnerable. In placing his perceived needs before hers, the man leaves the woman open for attack. When a man does not promise to love, cherish, and cover a woman with his name, but simply shares living quarters and a bed, he is leaving her open to attack. When a man fathers a child but does not accept the privilege and responsibility of being a daddy, he is leaving both the mother and child vulnerable to the harshness of the world.
But, when a man remembers God' s call to headship, he is able to make a positive difference. A man makes a difference when he guards the virtue of his girlfriend, remains true to his wife, or engages faithfully as a father. Men who remember God' s call to headship have an opportunity to defend against chaos and leave a legacy of hope. When Joseph learned that Mary was pregnant ( Matthew 1: 19- 25) , he probably felt betrayed and angry. He could have broken the engagement. Instead, Joseph trusted the word of the Lord, covered his " rib" by taking Mary as his wife, and named the Child Jesus. All men who desire to protect their " rib" find hope and help in Jesus ( Ephesians 5: 25, 28- 29) .
Womanhood and Manhood
Modern feminism has not been kind to the vocation of motherhood. Young women have been encouraged to seek self- fulfillment in every possible area of interest except as a wife and mother. Young women have been instructed in sexual promiscuity but set " free" of the responsibility of motherhood by abortion. Modern feminists celebrated legalized abortion because it " evens the playing field" by making a woman' s body more like a man' s. The world misunderstands the meaning of " equality." Men and women are created equal by God, but not the same. The attempt to change a woman' s procreative design proves that we fail to understand the high calling of motherhood.
It is ironic that in the midst of attempting to control child- bearing issues, many women hear the ticking of their biological clock and long to be a mother. This natural desire is an old as Genesis. Satan wanted Eve to be the mother of death. But God moved Adam to name his wife Eve ( " life" ) because she would be the mother of all the living. It is the woman who is wonderfully designed to bear and nurture life.
Martin Luther was awed by motherhood. " Everyone does best when he does those things for which he was created." The " female sex is merciful by nature because it is born to show mercy and to cherish . . . just as man is born to protect." ( What Luther Says, Concordia Publishing House, 1457- 1458) .
Luther was reflecting the Bible' s high view of motherhood. " As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you ( Isaiah 66: 13) . " But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children" ( 1 Thessalonians 2: 7) . Timothy was greatly influenced by motherly ( and grandmotherly) love and instruction. " I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well" ( 1 Timothy 1: 5) . Trusting God' s design for motherhood enabled Lois and Eunice to prepare Timothy for not only living in the world but influencing it for good.
Fatherhood and motherhood are God' s ideas that build a culture of life. A mother need never fear children that seem inconvenient or strip her of her " freedom." Like Jesus, she can welcome a little child ( Mark 10: 14) . And, when a mother grieves because she aborted her child in a moment of fear, she can look to Jesus the Savior who hears her cry of repentance and welcomes her into His waiting and forgiving arms. In Jesus, she is free to love and defend the blessing of life.
Manhood and Fatherhood
A father need never fear the difficulties of life or the failures that sometimes result. Jesus, who was there at man' s creation, knows his strengths and weaknesses. For this reason, God' s Word provides man with all that he needs to lead and instruct wisely. A mature generation, including both mothers and fathers, encourages the next generation to follow the treasures of true wisdom, especially the knowledge of salvation by grace through faith. Psalms 78 speaks about fathers passing on to children the wonders of what God has done. Proverbs 4 is a father' s wise instruction to sons. " When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, 'Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth . . ." ( v. 3 and following) . The Father God gave the first man the instructions of life, but also warned man away from death. An earthly father is called to do the same with his sons and daughters.
Parents Influence the Culture
Men and women help influence the culture by being godly parents. This begins with recognition of their equality as persons in God' s sight, yet uniqueness as male and female. Children need the role modeling of a male father and female mother. They need to see father and mother not competing with one another, but complimentary of each other. " Two are better than one . . . though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken" ( Ecclesiastes 4: 9- 12) .
God, a man, and a woman. This " threefold cord" is for the benefit of children and grandchildren.
God, a man, and a woman. Even in a sin- filled world, it is not good for man to be alone. He needs a " helper fit for him, " a woman " like his opposite." She needs a man who remembers God' s Word and uses it to love and protect her and their family. Together, man and woman equip children for living in a difficult world.
There is promise in this. " The man called his wife' s name Eve, because she was the mother of all the living" ( Genesis 3: 20.) Together - a man and a woman, a father and a mother - bring new life into the world. They pass on the truth of God, defend against evil, and lead their children with hope on the journey to heaven.
This article is adapted from Linda' s commentary first published in " God' s Word for Life, " by Lutherans For Life www.lutheransforlife.org. Linda is the former national president of Lutherans For Life and co- founder of The Lighthouse Center of Hope in Iowa Falls, IA. She served on the LCMS Sanctity of Life Task Force and Lutheran Family Service of Iowa. She is a speaker, author, and founder of Titus 2 for Life and blog site www.ezerwoman.wordpress.com Most importantly, Linda strives to be a helper and encourager.