On August 11, 2006, our youngest son, Josh, took Alison Anne Frattare to
be his wife. Just as we adopted Angie Marie, the wife of our oldest son
Jon, so we have now adopted Alison. These two young women have become
our daughters through a holy act instituted by God.
When Angie married our son Jon, she took his name. She came under her
husband’s covering just as the bride of Christ, the Church, came under
Jesus. When Angie took the Bartlett name, she was, in a special way,
adopted by our family.
Praise be to God! Paul and I now have two daughters by way of adoption!
They are Christian women who, in their unique ways, imitate the
faithfulness of other women before them. Like Eve with Adam, Sarah with
Abraham, Ruth with Boaz, and Mary with Joseph, our adopted daughters
have increased our family in a way that honors God and follows His
orderly plan.
"Your people will be my people and your God my God," Ruth said to
her mother-in-law Naomi (Ruth 1:16 NIV). Later, to Boaz, Ruth said,
"Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a
kinsman-redeemer" (3:9). Then, the elders and all those at the city
gate said, ". . . May the Lord make this woman who is coming into
your home like Rachel and Leah, who together built up the house of
Israel" (4:11). In the appropriate time and a way pleasing to God,
"Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife" (4:13). What a God-like
way to bring hope into the world! Naomi’s son had died. But, her son’s
wife—her daughter-in-law Ruth—chose to live out her life as the adopted
daughter who would unite Naomi’s family with the family of Boaz. From
the union of Boaz and Ruth was conceived Obed who was the father of
Jesse and grandfather of King David. From the line of David, came
Jesus—the very Son of God, our Savior!
Biblical marriage is very different from non-Christian marriage.
Although the Greeks and Romans practiced marriage, it was not what God
intended. A Greek wife had little freedom and was sometimes little more
than a slave. Greek men viewed women as inferior from birth. A Roman
marriage could be arranged against a women’s (or very young girl’s)
will; she could also easily be divorced at the whim of her husband. It
was common for the husband to frequent other partners for sex. The value
of children was measured by whether they were conveniently wanted or
not. A stable and generational culture was at risk in this chaos.
New life in Christ called for new patterns of marriage. (Ephesians
5:21-29). The inspired Saint Paul reminded the husband to love his wife
and seek her personal development—a radically new idea in that culture.
The wife was to respond with commitment and loyalty. Her submission is
out of "reverence for Christ" and "as to the Lord."
In truth, a husband also submits. In his book, Men and Marriage,
George Gilder notes that marriage changes a man. For the marriage to
work, he can no longer live the "single" life but must, instead, commit
to the needs of his wife and family. How does he do this? George Gilder
writes, "In civilized conditions it is love, marriage, and the nurture
of children that project a society into the future and make it
responsible for posterity." (Copyright © 1986 by George Gilder,
Pelican Publishing Co., Gretna, Louisiana, p. 16)
Sometime back in the 1970s, Shirley MacLaine was quoted in Look
magazine, saying, "I don’t think it’s desirable to conform to having one
mate and for those two people to raise children." Then she asked, "To
whom does monogamy make sense?" (Dr. Dobson: Turning Hearts Toward
Home, Copyright 1989 by Rolf Zettersten, Word Publishing, Dallas, Texas,
p. 144)
Monogamous marriage makes sense to God! He is the Creator of this holy
institution that impacts the world! It is through marriage—the union of
God, a man, and a woman—that families are built. Families, in turn,
build society. Only a God of order, victorious over chaos (1 Corinthians
14:33), could have such a perfect design for building a culture.
Paul’s and my daughters were not born to us in the usual way; rather,
they were brought to us by way of marriage. Our sons chose Angie and
Alison to be their wives and, through a holy act instituted by God, we
have been blessed. Like Naomi who saw hope in her daughter-in-law Ruth,
I see hope for generations in Angie and Alison. Only a God who is our
Savior Jesus Christ could bring hope to generations of our family
through such an adoption as this!