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How to Mentor a Foolish Woman

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down
Proverbs 14:1

(The following is

Titus 2 for Life Satire)


How you can instruct your daughter

in the ways of folly...

Do everything for her and don't expect her to help around the house.

Get her involved in every possible activity, club, and organization so she can keep up with her friends and not be left out.

Teach her to be aggressive and always prepared to one-up the boys.

Raise your daughter's confidence by making her the center of attention.

Make sure that everything you do with her is fun; hang out together and be like sisters.

Don't correct her when she makes a mistake because you might hurt her feelings and risk your friendship.

Shield her from disappointments, hardships, and the consequences of poor choices.

Give your daughter unlimited time and privacy in her room away from the family with her laptop, ipad and smartphone.

Don't ask her to go with you to visit relatives or church members in the hospital or nursing home because that's not much fun for a young girl.

Don't encourage her to do acts of service for other people unless, of course, she's getting extra credit for a class project because that will look good when she applies for a scholarship.

Let her interrupt whenever she has something to say because it's probably important to her.

And there's more...

Make sure that she has subscriptions to the most popular magazines for girls because she'll earn a lot about sensuality and sex appeal, the latest fads and fashions, how to get a man's attention, and what all the famous people are doing.

Better yet, encourage her to visit Planned Parenthood's website for teens.

Raise your daughter's self-esteem by telling everyone how beautiful she is and buying her all the pretty clothes you didn't have.

Don't bother teaching her etiquette and good manners because it's acceptable in this culture to be more casual and laid back.

Keep reminding her about all the things you've had to give up to be a stay-at-home mom.

Be quiet when the voices of the world tempt your daughter to believe that she can have it all.

Remind your daughter that men should be self-controlled, but it's ok for her to freely express her emotions so that everyone will know how she feels.

Be gone from home as much as possible because you wouldn't want her to think that anything really important happens there.

Help your daughter develop a critical spirit by allowing one of your own.

Show her how to help men by quickly taking charge whenever you think your husband isn't doing something good enough.

Teach her that women have to put men down in order to build themselves up.

Be sure to share a wink-wink and laugh with your daughter whenever watching a TV ad that makes men look like idiots.

Let her think that marriage is always a 50/50 partnership.

Don't let her catch you practicing patience, kindness, or selflessness with your husband lest she think you too submissive.

When her father sets boundaries for her clothing or behavior, find ways to help her undermine his authority.

Be intimated by the culture and embarrassed by your vocations of wife, mother, and homemaker.

Neglect using the mentoring model of Titus 2:3-5.

Make family meal time less of a hassle for your daughter by serving buffet style and letting her take it to her room.

Make sure that your daughter is skilled in everything except the art of making a home.

Encourage your daughter to meet her friends at the local coffee house rather than welcoming them into your house.

If at all possible, don't stay home to raise your children but, instead, entrust them to experts who will raise them better than you ever could.

If you are a single mom, let your boyfriend move in with you so your daughter will have a father figure.

Assure your daughter that she can always get married, be a mom, and make a home after she's done everything else.

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