So Now What | Titus

So Now What?

mentor from a house

built on firm foundation!

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down (Proverbs 14:1).

Build on the Word. Go to the Source of all wisdom. God’s Word contains everything a man or woman needs for living in today’s world, meeting today’s challenges, and mentoring generations. Paraphrased Bibles are fine for personal reading, but don’t count on them for accuracy. We recommend The Lutheran Study Bible – English Standard Version (ESV) or Concordia Self-Study Bible (NIV). The commentaries are exceptionally helpful with historical evidence and both Greek and Hebrew base.
Prepare yourself for the battle of worldviews on gender. Use Men, Women, and Relationships (Christian Life Today: A Bible Study) for your women’s study group. Order the 12-lesson study complete with leader’s guide here.
Be equipped with resources. Married or single, a woman has a sphere of influence that leads others to – or away from – God. How are you mentoring Biblical womanhood in your home? From your office? At school? In the church and community? Make use of the resources on this website. Visit Concerned Women for America, the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood or CanaVox.
Be careful who you let shape your worldview. Ideas of gender, feminism, abortion, motherhood, morality, dress, behavior, and life in general are mentored in one way or another by every news program, magazine, and web site. As a Christian, it is our responsibility to be discerning. WORLD magazine, for example, contrasts the worldview of Newsweek and Time. Websites with current information offered from a Biblical rather than secular humanist perspective include: Parental Rights , Answers In Genesis, Creation Instruction, Mercatornet, Breakpoint, Lutherans For Life, or Nation for Marriage or The Family Research Council.
Use spiritual discernment. A Titus 2 mentor reaches out with the Truth of God – both Law and Gospel. We are called, however, to be discerning in the proper use of each. The woman who doesn’t recognize her sin is in need of the Law, but the woman who has been convicted of her sin longs for the Gospel (Psalm 32:3-5). A suggested resource for your personal study is Handling the Word of Truth by John T. Pless. This short but powerful book will help you mentor someone whose soul you care about.
Mentor, don’t preach. The woman who builds her house on firm foundation must be prepared for “hot button” issues. Women’s ordination is one of those. Prepare yourself in presenting a Biblical worldview by reading pp. 297-301 of Rev. Klemet I. Preus’ book entitled The Fire and the Staff or look at the "Hot Button Topics" page on this website. A woman is called to help, encourage, nurture life, and mentor. In obedience to God's order of creation she is not called to be a pastor.

mentor confidence in God's order of creation!

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

Find contentment in knowing our Creator is the God of order. Woman wasn’t created at the same time, in the same way, or for the same purpose as man. “Equal” does not mean “being the same.” What does it mean to be a “helper” (Hebrew: ezer)? What does it mean to assist as an ally? What positive difference does a woman make when she learns to complete rather than compete? What significance is there for woman when she considers that the Holy Spirit, the Third Person of the Triune God, is called a "Helper?"
Trust that woman’s identity comes from God. It does not come from a man or her appearance, age, health, or circumstances of life. Our identity comes from God our Creator and Redeemer. God created us in His image and, although we fell from that perfect image, we were redeemed by the saving blood of Jesus Christ. We are heirs of the King! How does this knowledge change the way we see ourselves? The way we treat ourselves? The way we treat others?
Build a Titus 2 accountability group. Surround yourself with other daughters of the King and remind one another to turn a deaf ear to rebellious feminism. Be alert to words, phrases, and age-old practices defined by God that are being re-defined by the world, i.e. marriage, family, modesty, purity, equality, submission, gender, etc.
Start a woman’s ministry. Resources abound! Explore the pages of this web site or visit the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
Host a Titus 2 Tea for the wives of pastors, deaconesses, parish nurses, human care workers, youth workers, and the staff and volunteers from your local caring pregnancy center who are already ministering across generational lines but need “time out” for encouragement, healthy dialogue, and prayer time in someone's home.
Host a “Girls’ Night Out” for junior and senior high girls and their moms. Build confidence in God’s design for womanhood by using portions of the Bible study entitled Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up. Download the study in PDF format on the Resource page of this website. Host the event in someone’s living room where girls benefit from a Christ-focused home environment. Or, plan a series of “girls’ nights.” Conclude the series by taking a shopping expedition with the goal of finding modest clothes!

mentor biblical womanhood

A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised
(Proverbs 31:30b)

Fear and love the Lord. Martin Luther begins each of the meanings for the Ten Commandments with: “We should fear and love God…” In a sinful world, “fear” and “love” hardly seem to fit together. But, the Heavenly Father can be both feared (for His justice) and loved (for His mercy). How does this give freedom to modern women? Does it make a difference when you know that “to fear” actually means “to trust”?
Reject the deceit of the world. “You have been able to reject the deceitful glory of the world… you deserve to be praised for not being deceived.” (Church Father St. Bernard of Clairvaux, The Lutheran Study Bible ESV Commentary on Prov. 31:30-31, p. 1047) How was the first woman, Eve, deceived? Why did the deceiver approach her rather than the man? What is the deceitful glory of the world? How do you resist it? How do you help others resist it?
Discern your own mentors. Who are they? Whose counsel and advice do you seek? Do you surround yourself with women in the same situation as yours or do you glean wisdom from “older” women who have beautifully matured in the face of challenge? What kind of reading material is on your coffee table or by your bedside? Have you been influenced by human reason and emotion… or the Word of God?
Take time to build relationships – in a coffee house or your house, while quilting or scrapbooking, during Bible study or devotions, in a mother’s group or on a committee, in a time of crisis or celebration. Some of the most important, life-changing work you will ever do is to be available and encouraging, not with your words, but God’s Word.
Take care not to burn bridges. You and a friend or family member may part ways in thought and behavior. Even so, the Spirit may keep that person close to your heart. He may nudge you to send a “thinking of you” card or gift on her birthday, or just call to say “hi.” Don’t resist the Spirit. Years after being in an awkward relationship, a friend said to me, “You took care not to burn bridges. Even though we chose different paths, you didn’t abandon me.” The friendship was restored in greater measure. Invaluable lessons of life were used to help others.
Send a card! You appreciate being remembered and encouraged, don’t you? So do other women! If you can’t find the right message or can’t afford the pricey card, write a favorite Bible passage on a note and tuck it in an envelope with a tea bag or pre-packaged coffee pouch. Let a friend, neighbor, new church member, or relative know you’re thinking about her.
Start a Titus 2 Book Studay Club. Search bookstores and web sites for books that expose worldly philosophies and encourage Biblical manhood and womanhood.

practice & mentor hospitality

Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality (Romans 12:13)

Consider that a woman’s home is her first place of ministry – whether she is single or married. In Biblical times, when God's people had to wander about, they were welcomed into the homes of other people of faith. This is a tradition for the family of God. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares (Hebrews 13:2). What significance do you find in this verse?
Create a welcoming environment in your home. When others enter, what do they learn about you? Your faith? Your priorities? No matter how humble our homes, we can make them a place where others feel welcomed, respected, and safe. In what ways can a woman create a welcoming environment as a teacher in the classroom? In her office or place of business?
Tune out the voices of the world and find joy in making a home. It isn't about the newest furniture, latest trends in decorating, or having money to make changes whenever you want. It's about making a haven where husbands, children, and neighbors find peace in the midst of a chaotic world.
Host a Homemaking Party. Invite grandmothers, mothers, single women, college women, and school girls to a “home-making” party. Make use of Emilie Barnes’ books, down-loadable resources on the art of hospitality and God’s Word. Practice setting a table and serving one another. Practice the art of conversation. Explain reasons for etiquette and good manners. Explain that making a home isn’t a matter of spending lots of money, but of showing respect for others, being creative with what you have, and nurturing a welcoming spirit. Be bold with a counter-culture idea: Host a series of Bible studies on God’s creation of woman with each night focusing on an area of hospitality, i.e. table setting, etiquette and manners, color schemes, organization, and the art of making a simple meal both healthy and pleasing to the eye.

mentor a changed attitude

For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord… (2 Corinthians 4:5)

Reflect Christ, not self. It is natural to default to self. We focus on our needs and defend our behaviors. But, it’s not about me! It’s about God our Creator and Redeemer! God created the first man and woman in His image. We have fallen from that perfect image, but because of what Jesus Christ has done for us, it is possible with the help of the Spirit to reflect the glory of God rather than self. What does it mean to reflect God’s glory? How does a woman who professes to worship God speak? Dress? Make choices? Treat others? What does it mean to live free of the life that you thought would make you happy? It’s not about me… it’s about Christ – and others. Max Lucado has written a great book entitled It’s Not About Me.
Practice a changed attitude. On brightly colored sticky notes, write: “It’s not about me.” Place them on your mirror, in your wallet, on your desk, by your sink or on the refrigerator, in your car, and inside your Bible. Ask the Holy Spirit for help and encouragement. Then, discover that all things are possible with God!
Adjust your focus. Instead of losing yourself to a popular romance novel, women’s talk show or favorite “soap,” find yourself in God’s Word. Instead of treating yourself to a pedicure, invest in a prayer journal. Instead of reading People magazine, send notes of encouragement to friends or women living alone.
Live a holy, not sexy, life. Remind yourself and others that God calls us to be holy (1 Thessalonians 4:7; 1Peter 1:14-16). Mentor others away from the self-focus of sensual dress by explaining our responsibility to help men avoid temptation. Use the Bible study Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up with the young women and their moms of your congregation or family (available in a reproducible, PDF form on the Resource page of this website.)
Trust the reason for your existence. What is the one reason God awoke you this morning? Direct yourself and “younger” women to 1 Chronicles 16:24; Psalm 115:1; 1 Corinthians 8:6; 2 Corinthians 10:17.
Be a “living sacrifice” in view of God’s mercy. The Law urges us to do good – or else. The Gospel invites us to care for others and serve them with kindness. In doing so, we may feel unappreciated and “poured out” (Philippians 2:17), but God is at work in us, moving us to hold tightly to His Word through which He extends His image and saving grace to others. Invite a woman whose parents and family live far away to come to your home for coffee or lunch. Be of encouragement to her. Pray with her. Be available to her.
Analyze terms that focus on “self,” such as: “self-preservation,” “self-esteem,” “self-promotion,” “self-celebration.” In the last days, writes Paul to Timothy, people will be lovers of self (2 Timothy 3:2). Spend part of a day with an “older” Christian woman whose life appears self-less. Ask: Is it necessary to preserve self? From where do we get our worth? Is there benefit in promoting self? Is there any reason to celebrate self? What do you learn about attitude in Ephesians 4:22-24?
Rebel against the culture! Resist self-worship and narcissism! Help a younger generation turn from “me” to others. Gather a small group of women together for an “It’s Not About Me” night. Instead of dining out or doing nails or hair, discuss what women can do to bring out the best in men by way of dress, speech, and behavior. Contrast the difference between self-esteem and Christ-esteem. Hold each other accountable. Design postcards that proclaim: “It’s not about me” with 2 Corinthians 4:5 printed on the card. Finish off with some stamping, calligraphy, or artwork — and send the cards as “challenges” to one another throughout the year.
Consider a perspective of womanhood and the home that contrasts the world. In Joyfully at Home, Jasmine Baucham writes about the home as a hub of ministry and discipleship, a training ground for life.

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mentor self control

The grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us… to purify for Himself a people… who are zealous for good works (Titus 2:12-13)

Change old habits. Put self-control into practice. Self-control is mentioned four times in Titus 2:1-14. Using the Titus 2 model helps men and women, in their respective roles, to think of others before self, be accountable, train in righteousness, and build a culture of life while we wait for Jesus to come again. Think of ways you can help “younger” women practice self-control in the following areas: diet, exercise, speech, dress, relationships, homemaking, and shopping.
“Run the race” away from “rights” to responsibilities. St. Paul encourages believers to “run the race,” not “aimlessly” but with self-control (1 Corinthians 9:25-27). The world convinces women that we have the right to dress, speak, or act however we want. At what point do our “rights” hinder others? Can our lack of self-control put the faith of others at risk? A pastor’s wife who coaches volleyball took the opportunity to use portions of the Bible study Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up with girls at Christian camp. The girls were “in training” – learning, as St. Paul says, to “exercise self-control in all things.” When we “run the race” well, we serve others well. Are the “older” women of your congregation actively seeking opportunities to help “younger” women “run the race”? What opportunities exist in your weekday school or youth group?
Take a step toward happiness by learning to control your nature. Original sin is nasty. In a fallen world, we must daily fight our natural tendency to sin. The difference between male and female becomes obvious even in this area. Civilized societies and parents have always known the wisdom of helping boys suppress two of their natural tendencies: sexual desires and a predilection to violence. What are we doing to help girls suppress their natural tendency to be ruled by their emotions? From time to time, look for short Bible studies on this and other topics on the “Resources” page of this website.
Resist “following your heart.” Ponder the following statements: “When it’s time to make a decision, I’ll trust my heart.” “He told me he loved me. The moment felt so right, so I said ‘yes.’” “I don’t feel like my needs are being met. I don’t feel loved.” “I’m not sure how this relationship will turn out, but I’m following my heart.” Can we trust our heart? What does God say in Genesis 8:21; Jeremiah 17:9; and Matthew 15:19? How can we help “younger” women train their hearts? See Psalm 40:1-4; 119:41-48; Proverbs 16:20; Matthew 22:37
Prepare young women to guard their vulnerability. First, read Unprotected by Miriam Grossman, M.D. Then, share this book with your friends who have daughters. Buy copies of the book and send it to young women in college. Encourage your women’s group to purchase copies for clients at your local caring pregnancy center. This powerful book based on biological common sense could prevent physical, psychological, and spiritual harm. Make this a hopeful venture! Consider that someone who's had an abortion may read this book so write the toll-free number and website address of Word of Hope in each book: (888) 217-8679 www.word-of-hope.org
Do a random survey of people in your congregation under the age of 20.Ask: What does it mean to be self-controlled? Next, do a random survey of people in your congregation over the age of 60. Ask the same question. Compile the answers. Next, using a Concordance, look up the Scripture verses about self-control. Share the survey with your pastor and encourage him to make use of your findings in a sermon. Or, use the research during Bible study.

mentor the vocation of motherhood

The man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living (Genesis 3:20)

Take a stand for life. Satan wanted woman to be the mother of death, but Adam named his wife “Eve” (Hebrew: chawwah, “life”) because she would be the mother of all the living. With this name, Adam expressed hope for the future through new life and, most importantly, through the promised Seed of the woman: Jesus Christ. How does God help us understand “choice” in Deuteronomy 30:19-20? Regardless of our choices in the past, what can we choose to do now? How does being pro-life affect the way we see ourselves and others? Celebrate Mother’s Day in your congregation with bulletin inserts, roses on the altar, precious feet pins, or “thank you Mom” cards to all the moms. Remember to pray for the moms who chose abortion, that they will know the welcoming love and forgiveness of Christ. For resources, visit Lutherans For Life and Heritage House.
Trust God’s Word. You are, by God’s definition and design, a “helper.” With His Word, God has equipped you to help instill faith, raise standards of behavior, connect fathers to children, nurture moral character, encourage, and prepare children to stand against evil. Write this vocational job description on a notecard and keep it by your bed or on your fridge door!
Create a peaceful home for your family and guests. Isaiah 32:18 tells us, “My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.” The world is loud, selfish, rude, stressful, violent, and disorderly. When your family and guests come in the door, they can enter a different environment. A man should strive to keep his family safe, but the woman creates the environment and sets the tone. A mom doesn’t have to be “super woman,” but she can keep her home clean, respectful of others, hospitable, peaceful, and Spirit-filled. Little things can help, such as: soft music (Luther wrote that Satan abhors music), a scented candle, the table set and ready to receive your family, a visible picture of Jesus and a framed Scripture verse, your own composure, your choice of words, the practice of kindness, consistency with “house rules,” cleanliness, respect for some privacy, limited TV and computer time, establishment of family traditions, and carefully guarded boundaries around family time.
Invite your pastor to bless your home. Ask a few Christian friends to join you, your family, and pastor for a short “house blessing.” Join in prayer and God’s Word. Ask the Holy Spirit to live in your home and to fill those who enter there with truth, compassion, and faithfulness.
Start a Titus 2 Mother’s group. Be sure to include “older” and “younger” moms. Make use of the short "Dear Katy" videos from CanaVox that include "Transgender Treatment Plan," "Transgender Talking Points for Kids," "Know Your Worth," "The Risks of IVF," "Boyfriend Wants to Move In," "Husbands and Porn," and many others. See the Resource section of this website for other discussion and study helps.
Incorporate Titus 2 mentoring into scrapbooking. While hands are busy preserving memories of children and families, keep conversations focused on all things good, right, positive, and hopeful. Prepare yourself for Biblically healthy discussion. Pick a current cultural issue to discuss, such as same-sex "marriage." Come prepared with God's Word and kindly contrast it with worldly ideology during a healthy discussion.
Encourage the single moms in your congregation and community. Order copies of Not Alone, a devotional booklet written by Linda Bartlett. Wrap them as gifts for Mother’s Day and either mail them or put them in appropriate church mailboxes.
Pray for and encourage moms in your family, congregation or neighborhood who have suffered a miscarriage or stillbirth. Order copies of Into His Loving Care, a devotional booklet written by Linda Bartlett, for your pastor to give to parents who mourn the loss of their child to miscarriage or stillbirth.

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mentor christ’s love for children

And they were bringing children to Him that He might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, He was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to Me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God… And He took them in His arms and blessed them, laying His hands on them. (Mark 10:13-16)

Reject the world’s view of children. The world views children as “my body, my choice,” “an inconvenience,” “property,” “a source of stem cells,” “an extension of myself,” “someone who will love me,” “a grandchild for my parents,” or even a “tax write-off.” To develop a Biblical perspective on human life, order an educational packet from Lutherans For Life by e-mailing info@lutheransforlife.org or calling 888-364-LIFE.
Encourage stay-at-home moms. The vocation of motherhood is a full-time job. However, the benefits and rewards seem elusive. Every mom who makes the choice to stay home with her children needs the encouragement of “older” women who have experienced the challenges, loneliness, and question of identity. Provide Bible study or a monthly “lunch out” including childcare. Mail a card of encouragement. Make a simple call to ask: “How are you doing?”
Make life a little easier for single moms who must work outside the home to make a living, or for moms needed by husbands to help supplement the family income. These moms may feel guilty about time away from children, yet be exhausted when they get home. Send a note of encouragement, prepare a meal, or organize a bi-monthly group of “molly maids” to bear some of the house-cleaning load. This will help free mom for time with children.
Let children know how precious they are. Order copies of It’s You and Me Lord for your Sunday school, week-day, or VBS children in grades 1-3. Make them available for your Moms in Touch group or young mom’s Bible study. Keep some on hand for gift-giving.
Become a volunteer at your local CPC. Most caring pregnancy centers (CPCs) are appreciative of compassionate volunteers. If there is a CPC in your community, ask about helping with a young mom’s retreat, helping to mentor an unwed mom, or offering to teach a class on homemaking skills. Encourage your congregation to include your local CPC in the church budget.
Learn how your family or congregation might financially help Christian husbands and wives adopt orphans. For more information, contact Lutheran Family Service of Iowa.
Let single moms know you care. Purchase copies of Not Alone for single moms in your congregation or for clients at your local caring pregnancy center. This devotional book is a gentle, encouraging, Biblical reminder of the value of both mother and child. (The booklet is available in English or Spanish.)

mentor purity and chivalry

"Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come … Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity" (1 Timothy 4:7-9; 12).

"[Treat] older women as mothers … younger women as sisters, in all purity" (1 Timothy 5:2).

Host a Parent Night in your home or church. Encourage parents in their vocation. Remind them that God has entrusted children to fathers and mothers, not to schools. Don't be intimidated by the worldly philosophy that we have to make our children "comfortable with their sexuality" or that they are "sexual from birth." These are the ideas of Alfred Kinsey, Mary Calderone and so-called "sex experts" that have deceived parents and placed boys and girls in harm's way. God wants us to protect the innocence of childhood. He doesn't want us to "arouse love before its time." God doesn't want the holiness of sexual intimacy in marriage to be made common in the encounter group of a boy/girl classroom. He does not want adults to tease young men and women with information about "wondrous marital sex" and then tell them to "wait for marriage" until after obtaining their college degree and paying off some debt. Equip yourselves and other parents by reading The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity by Linda Bartlett. Titus 2 for Life published this "catechism" with 107 questions and answers that will help Christian parents dialogue about the false teachings of sex education. Read the reviews on Amazon. Or, visit the book's website Our Identity Matters, blog Case of Mistaken Identity, or group Facebook page ("Book News & Reviews").
Don't be intimidated by your own past. Repentant and confessed sins are forgiven by Jesus Christ. Hope is evidenced in new beginnings and a changed life. Biblical heroes were sinful men and women yet they trusted God's Word and used it to train children and grandchildren. What does Psalm 78:1-8 say to a parent? What does Exodus 20:5-6 say? While it is true that sins may be visited upon the third and fourth generations, the Lord's mercy is shown to thousands of generations.
Know the biological and psychological reasons why a girl's body isn't ready for sex and why neither boys nor girls with undeveloped prefrontal cortexes have good judgment . Read Unprotected and You're Teaching My Child What? by Miriam Grossman, M.D.
Familiarize yourself with the way Planned Parenthood mentors teens about homosexuality, transgenderism, masturbation, and safe sex. PP's Teenwire website (presently under re-construction) undermines the biblical mentoring of children by Christian parents. See Unplanned -- the movie about Planned Parenthood as told by Abby Johnson, a former PP Clinic director. If you've had an abortion, the movie will be difficult to watch, but be assured that in your repentance the mercy and forgiveness of Jesus Christ is real... and for you.
Prepare for discussions about "sexual identity" and gender dysphoria. Biblical resources to help you talk with your son or daughter include God and the Transgender Debate by Andrew T. Walker and Paper Genders by Walt Heyer.
Host a special "Girls Only" overnight for middle-school girls and their moms (grandmother's, too!) in a hotel or someone's home. Use the Bible study Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up as a tool for mentoring biblical womanhood and modest clothing (see Resource page on this website). Other great books to help girls relate to guys in a healthy and biblical way include You Ask About Relationships by Timothy Pauls and It's Not That Complicated by Anna and Elizabeth Botkin.
Host a "Boys Only" overnight for middle-school boys and their dads (grandfathers, too!) in a hotel, cabin, or someone's home. Resources to help with discussions include Fathers & Sons: Stand Fast in the Way of Truth and Hold Fast In a Broken World by Douglas Bond, Raising Boys by Design by Gregory L. Jantz, PhD and Michael Gurian, and Boys Should Be Boys by Meg Meeker, M.D.
But what if my child has been sexually assaulted? Is their purity stolen from them? No! We are pure and holy, not because of how we feel, what we do (or what is done to us by someone else), but because God has made us uncommon and set apart for His own purpose (1 Peter 1:14-16; 2:9). God makes us uncommon--indeed, holy--through His Word and the promise of our Baptism where we receive the "washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit" (Titus 3:5-8). Purity is not our work, nor is it something that anyone can steal from us. Download this brochure to learn more about our identity and purity in Christ.

mentor hope

and healing

"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound … to comfort all who mourn" (Isaiah 61:1-2). "For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness" (Isaiah 61:10)

Become familiar with abortion healing ministries such as Word of Hope. Encourage your congregation to support Word of Hope or the post abortion outreach of your local caring pregnancy center. Purchase copies of No More Weeping, a devotional booklet by Linda Bartlett for women who grieve their abortion choice. Or, read Linda's blog at Tender Mercies Learn more about the stages of grief--from denial to anger and despair-- from LifeSite, Project Rachel, or After Abortion.
Place copies of No More Weeping (or post abortion brochures such as After the Abortion: There Is Hope in His Healing or The Secret Pain) in the women's restroom at your church. This is a gracious and private way to reach out to a woman who has repressed the sin of her abortion. You'll be surprised how quickly they disappear. If possible, place some abortion healing brochures in the lobby of a college dorm or hospital waiting room. Give copies to the school nurse at the high school. Sample packets of brochures may be obtained from Lutherans For Life or Heritage House.
Speak your pro-life convictions with care. We may express our pro-life beliefs with confidence, but how are these words heard and received by the woman or man with abortion in their past? Do our words and actions welcome people... or turn them away? Women who've had abortions are all around you... in your families, circle of friends, and congregations. Linda Bartlett writes, "Two women very close to me told me about their abortions but only after years of trust had built up between us. We had chosen different paths in life but, as one later said, 'You kept writing and being my friend.' I have shared her story at women's retreats, As sometimes happens, a woman asked to talk to me privately. She began with this: 'I heard words of hope and welcome from you today. Is that hope for me? You see, I'm one of those women whose stories you told today.' For two years, she and I corresponded There was nothing better for her than to speak God's Word of mercy and hope for healing." Let us keep the door of our house open to people longing for "the peace of the Lord that passes all understanding" (Philippians 4:7).
You might wonder: Why do so many Christian women have abortions? Driving home from a Titus 2 Retreat, a group of women pondered this question. After some research, one of the women discovered that childhood sexual abuse may have more to do with an abortion decision than we might think. To learn more, please read Abortion & Childhood Sexual Abuse on Linda's Tender Mercies blog.

mentor and encourage

biblical manhood

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness … urge the younger men to be self-controlled (Titus 2:2, 6)

Honor God's order of creation by being a helper (Hebrew: ezer) to man. There is no shame in being a helper. Jesus called the Holy Spirt a "Helper" (Greek: parakletos, "comforter" or someone who appears on another's behalf--"advocate")in John 14:16. In what ways does a Christian woman help or hinder a man in a dating relationship? In the workplace? In what ways does a Christian wife help or hinder her husband? In what ways does a Christian mother help or hinder the father of her children? In what ways does a Christian mother help or hinder her son?
As a woman, mentor your sons, grandsons, and all the boys that God brings in to your life. A boy observes how his mom copes with life. He sees how she acts when she's tired, anxious, sad or content. From her, he learns self-controlled or uncontrolled emotions. Moms provide comfort, demonstrate the importance of relationships, and teach sons how to juggle multiple tasks. A Christian mom, whether married or single, does a lot to build up her son by speaking respectfully of men. Moms and dads can help sons avoid the "temptress" by studying Proverbs 4-7.
Women can encourage fathers to be heroes and defenders of their daughters. Suggest that your husband and/or men's group read Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, M.D. or read "Dad: A Girl's First Hero" from Ezerwoman Blog. A dad plays a very important role in helping his daughter to wait to be sexually active until marriage. What does it mean when a father gives his daughter's hand in marriage? What does it means when he lifts his daughter's veil?
Resist the feminist disdain for patriarchy. Patriarchy is part of God's design to bring order into a sinful and chaotic world. Men are held accountable for loving their wives and passing on the Truth of God to their children. Pray for godly husbands and fathers. Encourage biblical manhood by making resources for men available on your in your church newsletter or website. We suggest Man Up! by Jeffrey Hemmer, Soft Patriarchs, New Men by W. Bradford Wilcox, and Out of the Ashes by Anthony Esolen. (See also "So Now What? dropdown page "there's more!")
Raise the standard for men. The way a woman chooses to dress, speak, and act can either raise--or lower--a man's standard of behavior. We suggest reading A Return to Modesty by Wendy Shalit or Christian Modesty and the Undressing of America by Jeff Pollard. It's true that even Christian women have been heard to say, "Well, I had the enhancement surgery. Now I want to show off what I have!" But what about thoughtfulness in respecting the eyes of other women's husbands? It's true that women can wear anything they want, but should they? For the sake of the pastor's eyes at the Communion rail, shouldn't we practice the godly virtue of self-restraint?
Encourage mature masculinity. Masculinity that pleases God does not assume superiority, but welcomes the strengths of others. It does not demand to be served, but serves. It accepts the responsibility to lead on the good path of life, but values help in doing so. It takes the initiative in disciplining the children. It loves a wife as Christ loves His Bride, the Church. It is not boastful but humble and quick to repent after sin.

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